Visitreno

[BC Dave]

John,

Your expertise is requested. My gang of nautical misfits wants to do a round of Pep. bar golf on Oct. 28th. We need you to lead the way, discuss the difficulty of each impending stool, and tell us how to swing.?! The pep's site lists 13 "Holes". We're hoping you know where the other 5 are.

[john]

Yes, I'd be delighted and honored to be your caddy. There are actually 14 holes at the Peppermill, if you count the Sole hole at the pool. Unless tee time comes early, that one will probably be closed. Come to think of it, there's a hole in the VIP lounge that serves free drinks. If the truth were to be known, it would show that the exact number of holes is a moot point, as few of us will remember where or when we started after, say, the 9th or 10th hole.

Assuming the Sole hole will be closed, and they don't kick us out of the VIP lounge hole, my suggestion would be to map out the first 14 holes of the course. If we complete that part, we'll follow a random person until he/she passes a hole. That hole will become the next hole, even though we've already played it. Alternately, we could rent 4 luxury suites and use them as the remaining holes. Or, if we get really drunk, we could drive out to Boomtown and finish the course there. Or we could find 4 remote locations around the casino and have drinks delivered by a cocktail waitress (also known as a sub-caddy). Another option would be to go into a restaurant, have a cocktail, and leave without eating or paying. Of course, if we don't pay, our round will finish early as the Reno Police Department doesn't serve alcohol.

Concerning the hole stool difficulty, I'd suggest arranging the course so the holes with the lower stools are farther down on the list. I'll bring bolt cutters to shorten one leg on random stools to increase the difficulty and add humor.

You also asked for advice on how to swing. I'd recommend bypassing this issue because you won't be bringing any women. My experience with swinging has taught me that it's much more fun when the man/woman ratio is 1:1.

I'll get back to you when I've had time to put a little thought into the idea.

[BC Dave]

Think about it? We'll do all the above and when the cops show up we'll all run in different directions.

[stoneman]

"we'll all run in different directions."

That can be so miserable. Have you tried Kaopectate?

I hope that I miss the golf outing.

[stoneman]

I think Costco is currently running a special on Pampers for Men.